If all your responses read, ‘ok’, ‘cool’ or ‘yeah’, and you’ve been responding only once every two days, we have news for you – your texts are bone-dry and you better up your game. If you’re just naturally terrible at textual relationships, take a seat, we’ve got your back with tips on how not to be a dry texter.
What Makes You A Dry Texter?
Like all forms of communication, texting has its own rules and etiquette. Just because you’re a face-to-face kind of person doesn’t mean you get to be a dry texter. So, what makes a dry texter? If you’re forever sending one-word answers, never asking questions in return and ignoring all the cute photos and memes you’re being sent, you’re a dry texter. If you’re incapable of texting someone first or (the unthinkable!) leaving someone on ‘read’ for days at a time, you, my friend, need a lesson in text-iquette! Bad texting leads to communication problems, and you don’t need that. So, do you feel like this might be a chronic problem with you, and you’re wondering how not to be a dry texter? Pull up a chair, class is in session. It’s time to learn how to not be dry on the phone. To stop being a dry texter, you need to make the person at the other end feel like you’re invested in the conversation, and by extension, in them. That entails taking initiative to reach out, asking interesting questions, and putting in the effort to look up a funny meme or GIF to revive a dying conversation. Now that we’ve covered the basics of how to not be dry when texting, let’s delve deeper to help you shake off your texting inertia with some actionable tips.
How To Not Be A Dry Texter – 15 Tips
So, you might think text messages aren’t all that important. It’s not like meeting someone and ignoring them. Or even like not picking up someone’s phone calls. We’ve got news for you. Entire relationships can grow or perish based on your quality of texting. To not be boring when texting a guy or a girl is key to taking things to the next level, especially in today’s tech-driven world. Notice if that cute girl you were sort-of-kind-of texting with is taking longer to get back to you. When you finally ask her if she’d like to meet up, she’s less than enthusiastic. Her texts are getting shorter and…drier. Hurts, doesn’t it! Now that you’ve been given a taste of your own medicine, you might want to put in some serious effort in learning how to not be dry when texting. Whether you’re a dry texter with your best friend or trying to not be a dry texter with your crush, it’s time to up your texting game. We’ve rounded up some tips to wet your dry texting whistle.
1. Don’t take too long to reply
Just because you can turn off the ‘last seen’ feature on WhatsApp, don’t assume people don’t realize they’ve been left on ‘read.’ If you haven’t responded to a message in two days or more, you better have broken all your fingers or then be stuck on a remote island with no network at all. Those two excuses might be acceptable, and we’re still not making any promises. One of our tips on how to not be a dry texter is to respond, even if it’s just, “Sorry, I am busy just now, will chat later.” If you’re unavoidably delayed for a few hours, do respond by saying, “Sorry, was held up” etc. You’d do it if you were late to actually meet someone, so why should texting be any different. It’s no Shakespearean sonnet, but it’s better than nothing. While it may not transform your texting skills magically, it’s at the very least a first step toward learning to stop being a dry texter.
2. Avoid one-word responses
No.Don’t.Do.It.Yes, we know, there will be times when you’re too caught up to type out more than a hasty ‘ok cool’. But this can’t become the rule, because it’s just plain rude and abrupt. Things like ‘ok’, ‘yeah’ and the utterly awful ‘k’, with the silent treatment afterward, is basically telling someone they’re not important and you have no time for their candid textual confessions. Too bad, my friend. If you’re trying to not be a dry texter with your crush or just to not be dry on the phone in general, you need to put in the work. Maybe just pick your situation. If someone told you that they’re going to be 15 minutes late for a meeting, ‘okay’ could be acceptable. If someone just told you they’re newly engaged, or gave you spoilers for the new Marvel show, please do not say ‘k’. In fact, if it’s the latter situation, show up at their house and Hulksmash them!
3. Have a purpose
We’re being very deep and philosophical over texting, but it’s true! Conversations need to have a purpose and when you have a purpose, you text better. You know how every meeting has an agenda so that everyone gets to put their point across? Have the same approach to at least some of your texting. Whether it’s a professional text chain or you’re just practicing how to not be a dry texter with your girlfriend, make your text talks a whole plan. What’s your aim? Are you angling for a date? Have you already had a few dates and wondering how to take it to the next level? (No, we don’t mean saucy pictures, you dirty mind!) Have a text plan and write accordingly, so your texting game goes up a few notches. This is a great way to not have dry conversations over text if you’re not spontaneous or tend to overthink the ‘appropriate’ response to every message.
4. Use emojis/GIFs/memes
Yes, you can be an adult and use the eggplant emoji. And the peach. And the dancing lady in red. Emojis, GIFs and memes are like the colorful sprinkles on the cupcake of texting. They soften things up, make for a laugh and are honestly a language all on their own. It is especially helpful to use these if you’re a reticent texter and not comfortable using a lot of words over text. If your crush just asked you if you like his favorite singer, and you actually hate them, you can say ‘not really’ and put a smiling emoji next to it. This is one of the great how to not be a dry texter examples to navigate a situation where you don’t feel comfortable giving a straight answer but at the same time don’t want to leave the other person hanging. Apart from emojis, you can also tap into the gold mine of GIFs and memes to not be a dry texter with a boy or a girl you’re crushing hard on. Did your crush just pay you a compliment and you, for the life of you, can’t figure out what to say? Let an adorable GIF do the talking. Did your crush use a witty one-liner to which you have no comeback? Use a meme. This way, rather than appearing abrupt and dismissive, you get to gently break it to people that no, you have not yet heard the new Taylor Swift album 15,000 times. Hopefully, they forgive you and you get a second date.
5. Ask interesting questions
So, you’re wondering, “Am I a dry texter?”, and more importantly, racking your brains over how to not have dry conversations over text. Remember that the secret to a good conversation in any form is to appear interested in the other party. Even if you don’t really want to read/hear about their coworker’s annoying laugh over and over, it bodes well for any relationship if you ask questions. If it’s about a book they’re reading, ask them what else the author has written. If they’re complaining about their boss, ask them what exactly was said and throw in something about aren’t these ‘management sorts’ just the worst. Send a meme while you’re at it. This worked wonders for Margaret and Thomas. Thomas had been having problems with his boss for a while. He and Margaret were texting and she asked, “So, what would you be like as a boss then?” And they fell into an hour of sending GIFs and memes of themselves as bosses. How not to be a dry texter? Meme it up!
6. Have a sense of humor
Standard relationship advice, right? But when you’re not face-to-face and wondering if the other person is actually laughing at your dry sense of humor, maybe you up your game a little. Don’t just send forwarded jokes, though those work in a crunch. Make up your own private text jokes, have hilarious nicknames for each other, send hideous front camera photos if you’re comfortable enough. These may seem unremarkable but can turn out to be effective how to not be a dry texter examples when used in the right context, with the right person, and at the right time. Texting is fun, don’t forget. Don’t try too hard, let the laughter flow, and you’ll be just fine.
7. Read between the lines
Now, this is important. My partner hates having intense discussions over text because he says there’s so much scope for misunderstanding. I, on the other hand, could conduct my entire relationship over text, no problem. We spend a lot of time texting, and a lot of it is fun, casual stuff. But sometimes, you’re not sure what they’re saying or what they mean and how seriously you should take it. Try and read between the lines. If they’re being a little serious and typing short answers, it’s possible they’re upset, worried or angry. If they’re sending you a lot of texts, they’re thinking about you, and they’re interested! If there’s been little or no contact for a week or more, send maybe one follow-up text and then leave it at that. If they’re typing ‘GOOD MORNING’ in capital letters each morning, it’s probably your mom and you should call her.
8. Flirt a little
This is my favorite part of texting because I get to flirt in my sweatpants and bare feet. Sure, dressing up and donning heels helps, but keep the love and lust alive over text messages too. Bringing your flirting A-game can work wonders if you’re trying to not be boring when texting a guy or a girl you’re interested in. Paul and Lizzie had met a few times before and while there were definitely sparks, they weren’t meeting as often as they’d like. Lizzie sent Paul a photograph of herself in a new suit with some colleagues. Paul’s response was, ‘Nice. Who’s the gorgeous girl in the grey suit? Would she like to have a drink with me?’ Flirting is important regardless of whether you’ve just met, or if you’re flirting with your spouse of 20 years. So, if you’re wondering how to not be a dry texter with your girlfriend of many years, send her a text saying, “Just thinking about you being the world’s sexiest couch potato.” Take it from me, it works.
9. Focus on details
It’s always the little things that matter. The small details that people remember that end up making a relationship special. It’s the same with texting. Focus on what’s being said, and what it says about the texter. If she’s telling you about a trip with her girlfriends, remember their names. If he’s talking about football, be sure you know his favorite team and player. Bring up an outfit they wore the last time you met or a dish they ordered. Send a text saying, “Hey, I loved that pasta you ordered last weekend, trying to replicate it and need a taster. Interested?” If you get it right, there’ll be more than a chef’s kiss to look forward to. The journey to stop being a dry texter begins with being invested in the person you’re talking to. I cannot stress this enough.
10. Make it a conversation
Too often, text messages are seen as short and casual with no real feeling behind them – a mere functionality and convenience. But if you’re hoping to make headway with a potential crush, or even if you’re a dry texter with your best friend and want to be better, it needs to become a conversation. If you’re texting someone you met on a dating app, don’t limit it to ‘Hello’ and ‘How are you?’ Even if you are an awkward texter, push on. Ask them about their interests and their families? And text as though you’re really talking to them. Use exclamation points, say ‘HAHAHAHAHA’ when something’s funny, be creative. Communication is always an art, even when you’re staring at your phone screen. Even if it’s a dating app conversation, be good at it! Show the other person that you’re making an effort to not have dry conversations over text.
11. Initiate the first text
Yes, we know. Taking the first step is always scary, even on text. What if they don’t reply? What if they think it’s creepy? What if it’s actually the wrong number and you’re texting their father who’s a cop? Or you’re wondering, “I’m a girl, should I text him first?’ But someone has to be brave and do it. Else, what if both of you are too scared to send that first text and nothing ever happens and you’re both sad and lonely forever! Love takes courage, the first text takes courage. So, flex your thumbs, pick up your phone and get to texting. Who knows you might get along like a house on fire and the concerns about how to not be boring when texting a guy may be moot.
12. Be invested
Invest in being polite, being regular and using texting as a medium to get to know the other person. The answer to how to not be dry when texting lies is keeping the conversation going, like a good game of ping-pong. Without adequate back and forth, things are bound to fizzle out even before they take off. Don’t let it come to that.
13. Don’t be over-eager
Be invested, as we’ve just said, but for the love of god, know where to draw a line. Don’t bombard them with ‘good morning’ texts or keep sending grinning photos of yourself or your breakfast or minute-by-minute updates. If they haven’t responded within a few minutes, don’t send a sad emoji or 10 question marks. Give them space, and after a respectable amount of time, let it go if needed. Healthy relationship boundaries apply to texting too, remember. And double texting is truly sad. It makes you come across as a tad desperate, and that, my friend, is a near-certain put-off. So, don’t go overboard in your bid to stop being a dry texter.
14. Share from your end
Texting, like all communication, is a two-way street. If your crush has been sharing cute text messages with updates about their lives, or pictures, it would be nice if you responded in kind. If you’re not comfortable with oversharing over text, tell them that too, and maybe you can come to an understanding. Be open and honest when you’re texting, that’s all people want. For instance, if you’re in the getting-to-know each other phase and don’t feel comfortable laying your heart bare over texts, tell them, “Well, the rest, I’d like to tell you in person.” If you’re looking for how to not be a dry texter examples, it doesn’t get much better than this. Not only have you piqued their interest but also laid the groundwork for a next date. Et, voila!
15. Ask for an opinion
People love being asked for their opinion, in fact, they often offer opinions even without being asked. But if you’re trying to not be a dry texter and get lucky via text, it’s a great idea to ask for an opinion. It could be anything from sending a photo and asking, “Do you think this outfit works?” to “What did you think of the Presidential debate?” Asking for an opinion opens up a conversation and also makes them feel like their thoughts matter to you. And after all, what is love but knowing we’re important to someone. Texting gets a lot of flak. It’s not authentic, it’s too much effort, it’s not the same as a real-life talk, etc., etc. But truth be told, we live in an age where texting is practically a life skill. So, brush up on your text skills and be the best texter you can possibly be. You won’t regret it.
